”THE CYCLE OF ABUSE: WHY LEAVING ISN’T EASY.” 

 

“WHY DIDN’T SHE JUST LEAVE?”❤️

It’s one of the most common-and most harmful- questions people ask about domestic violence. The truth is, abuse is not just a series of bad moments. It’s a psychological trap, often rooted in hope, fear, shame, and manipulation. To truly understand abuse, we must understand the CYCLE that keeps the victims stuck. 

1. TENSION: 

The abuser becomes increasingly irritable, critical, or controlling. The victim sense something wrong and may try to calm things, often “walking on eggshells.”

2. INCIDENT (ABUSE):

An episode of physical, emotional, or psychological abuse occurs-yelling, hitting, threats, or manipulation.

3. RECONCILIATION (“HONEYMOON”):

The abuser may apologize, show affection, buy gifts, or promise change. This can create false hope and emotional confusion.

4. CALM:

A temporary period of peace follows. It may feel like “things are back to normal,” but the underlying issues remain, and tension soon builds again. 

🔂 AND SO THE CYCLE BEGINS AGAIN.

 

WHY VICTIMS STAY

Leaving is often not just a decision-it’s a process. Victims may stay because:

• They  fear retaliation, losing their children, or being homeless.
• They’ve been isolated from friends, family, and/or money.
• They believe the abuser will change.

They feel shame, guilt, or have low self-worth from emotional abuse. 

💡Leaving is not a sign of weakness. Staying is not a sign of acceptance. Both are symptoms of a deeply manipulative cycle. 

Breaking the Cycle

Healing starts with knowledge. When victims recognize the pattern, they can begin building a plan toward safety and freedom. 
If this post sounds familiar to your experience-or someone you love-know this: 

• You are not crazy
• Yiu are not alone.
• You are not to blame. 
  You deserve peace, safety, and love.

CLOSING THOUGHT: 

The cycle of abuse is powerful-but it can be broken. Every time we educate ourselves or speak out, we chip away at the silence that keeps people stuck. 
Call to Action: 

➡️ want to understand more? Read Post #1: 

“What is Domestic Violence?”

➡️ Need support? Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 (24/7)

 

With love,

Jennie & Jessica ❤️