Success Story: “This Is Not a You Problem—It’s a Them Problem”

I used to think abuse only counted if it left bruises.

I didn’t understand the deeper wounds—emotional manipulation, isolation, fear, control. I thought I was smart enough to avoid it, strong enough to walk away quickly. But abuse doesn’t always look like what we see on TV.

After leaving my husband in the early 2000s, I met a man who seemed like everything I wanted—kind, caring, loving. That changed the moment we moved away from my hometown to a place where only his family lived. That’s when the isolation began.

It started with a shove. Then a slap. Then silence, gaslighting, and more physical violence. Over time, it escalated. One day, he beat me for something someone else did. He broke my nose. Split my lips. Chipped my teeth. Bruised my whole body.

That was the day I became a rag doll in my own life.

I was trapped in that house of horrors for two years before I finally escaped.

But my journey wasn’t over.

About a year later, I met someone else. Again, things seemed picture-perfect—for a while. Then came the fighting. The alcohol. The chaos. He didn’t just hurt me—he put our daughter in danger too. Every day felt like a boxing ring. The only peace we had was when he was passed out drunk or out on a bender.

When our daughter turned four, I knew something had to change.

I walked out that door and never looked back.

What followed was the hardest battle of my life. I fought the court system, fought him, fought my own self-doubt and trauma. But in the end—I was victorious. I saved my daughter. I saved myself.

We are safe now. We are healing. We are free.

A Message to Other Women

If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re stuck, afraid, or questioning whether what you're living through is really “abuse”—please hear me:

This is NOT a you problem.
You are NOT weak for staying.
You are STRONG for surviving. And even stronger for leaving.

You deserve peace. You deserve love. You deserve safety. And you are not alone.

I was you once.
And now—I’m free.

With love,

Jessica