Blog Post #5

LOVE SHOULDN’T HURT-THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL LOVE AND CONTROL

By Jennie and Jessica

Shatter-the-Silence.com

 

We grow up believing love means sacrifice. that it’s supposed to be hard sometimes. That jealousy means someone cares and that compromise means giving up parts of yourself.

But let’s be clear-love should never hurt.

❤️ WHAT REAL LOVE LOOKS LIKE

Real love uplifts you. It feels safe, not suffocating. It allows you to be yourself, not shrink yourself. here are just a few things that healthy love includes:

RESPECT-for your voice, boundaries, and choices

TRUST- without tracking your every move

SUPPORT- for your goals, your healing, and your independence

❤️ SIGNS OF CONTROL DISGUISED AS LOVE

Abusers often mask control as “care” Here are red flags that it’s not love-it’s manipulation:

”I only act lie this because I love you so much.”

”I don’t want anyone else looking at you- that’s why you can't wear that.”

”You don’t need to work, I’ll take care of everything.” (then you leave with nothing)

”I know what’s best for you-just listen to me.”

 

🧠 WHY IT’S HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE

When you’ve been hurt, especially from a young age or over many years, your idea of love can become twisted. You may believe:

Love means tolerating pain

You have to earn affection by being “good enough”

Jealousy equals devotion

You don’t deserve anything better

But you do. And healing starts when you stop blaming yourself for someone else’s behavior.

 

🌹 YOU DESERVE GENTLE LOVE

Love shouldn’t leave you questioning your worth. It shouldn’t make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. And it shouldn’t come with bruises-emotional or physical.

You deserve:

Space to grow

Freedom to choose

A voice that is heard-not silenced

A heart that is held-not broken

 

💬 A note from Jennie and Jessica

If noone’s told you today: YOU ARE LOVABLE. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Real love honors you-it doesn’t hurt you.

Let’s rewrite the story. Let’s teach our daughters, our friends, and ourselves what LOVE really means.

With love and truth,

Jennie and Jessica

Shatter the Silence Blog

💜 Shatter-the-Silence.com